Sunday, February 17, 2008

Do Bad Pickup Lines Work

Will you play army men with me.. so I can blow the hell out of you !

Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns.

Is it cold in here, or are you just happy to see me.

Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?

Wow! Are those real?

There must be a keg in your pants, cuz I want to tap that ass.

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.

Why do I have a pierced tongue? You'll soon find out.

Hey baby, will you be my love buffet so I can lay you on the table and take what I want?

How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?

I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button.

You must work at Subway, 'cause you just gave me a footlong.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
If I said you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?
Enough to break the ice. Hi my name's (_____)
Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!
Do you have a mirror in your pocket?
'Cause I could see myself in your pants.

(Use index finger to call her over, then ask)
"do you always cum when you're fingered?"

True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.

Nice Shoes. Wanna fuck?

How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

Screw me if I'm wrong, but haven't we met before?

Screw me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Lindsey?

I admit, I'm kind of a geek by day... But a sex machine by night!

You have been very naughty! Go to my room!

Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

Do you sleep on your stomach?
Can I?

Can I flirt with you?

Be unique and different, say yes.

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.

Do you wash your pants with Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.

Are you from Tennessee?
Because you are the only ten I see

If I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!
Wow, you with those curves, and me with no brakes ...

Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.

That outfit looks good on you ... but it would look a lot better in a crumpled heap next to my bed.

How would you like your eggs tomorrow morning?
Scrambled or fertilized?

I may not be Fred Flinstone but I can sure make your bed-rock!

Let's bypass all this bullshit and just get naked.

Girl, you must be tired 'cause you've been running through my mind all day!

Hi, my name's {name}. Remember it, you'll be screaming it later tonight!

My name is {name}, but you can call me anything at all. Just call me.

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you in between the holidays?

I wish you were a screen door so I could slam you all day long.

Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell all my friends that we did anyway.

What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

You: Have I shown you my magic watch? It tells me that you're not wearing any underwear ...
Girl: Nice try, I am wearing underwear.
You: Shoot ... It must be an hour fast.

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